Do you know why you do what you do? One major staple of the mental health community is– habits can be broken and new behaviors can be created. Do you know how your behaviors and the status of your mental health can affect your relationships?
You can lunge out at someone but not realize what could be building up inside of you.
One of the major benefits of therapy is that you can compartmentalize your thoughts and debrief. Take a moment to realize what you’ve been dwelling on and write it down. Walk through this with me. What is it that has been consuming your thought life? What are you meditating on? Do you know what drives your actions? Is it a healthy motivation? Take some time to assess it. Take a moment to write down your goals and underneath include what are your motivating factors. Be brutally honest with yourself!
Goal- I want to lose 50lbs.
Motivating factor- I want to get back at all the people that called me fat or turned me down because they thought I was overweight.
Why that’s unhealthy:
You should want to lose weight for YOU! You should want to be more healthy for YOU! Not to impress a shallow group of people that didn’t value you for you. What happens when you drop the 50lbs and still don’t receive their approval? I can answer that! You become frustrated and lose all motivation or set another unhealthy goal thinking that will fix the problem. NO! In that process, you value yourself less and less and won’t even be able to see crucial progress. With a healthy mindset, you are able to grow and the progress is SUSTAINABLE; not stressful.
This is what healthy looks like:
Goal- I want to lose 50lbs in a year.
Motivating factor- I want to be healthy and make everyday tasks easier. I also want to hit the beach at a much more comfortable size.
SIMPLE and SUSTAINABLE!
A major tool I want you to add to your repertoire is critical thinking. Have you ever sat down and thought about some issues you’ve had in the relationships you have and thought about how much you contributed to those issues? Ask yourself these two questions, what are your 3 biggest strengths in your relationships and what are your 3 biggest weaknesses? Write them down. Then, I encourage you to ask 2 or 3 people the same question about YOU. See what they say about you, write their responses down. If any of the responses you get are a little lackluster, that’s great! It shows you what areas you need to work on in your life! REMEMBER, anything that’s not growing is dead. Working on yourself is very healthy we all need the catharsis and self-reflection. Counseling/therapy is GOOD!